What Men Really Want in Bed
it proclaimed and then added underneath
It’s not what you think.
So what is it that men want so badly in their beds? According to this article it is their Bears. Celebrity after celebrity speaks to the power in their life of their own faithful companion. Journalist and writer, Sir Max Hastings, stridently declares
[e]very right thinking Englishman adores his teddy bear
and the broadcaster, Chris Evans recognises that
only bad men aren’t teddy bear people.
Any number of men admit that through their teenage years they ignored their Bears but then, like Julian Fellowes, the writer of Downton Abbey, remember at nineteen or twenty
waking up one morning and thinking, I am now old enough to get my bear out again.
And, it’s not just the celebrities, when, during the time I was lecturing at University, I needed a collection of Bears for a school based project, as many of the lads brought theirs from their rooms as did the lasses. You don’t leave home for strange climes without your Bears. To quote Max Hastings again,
[t]he teddies were completely non-threatening and were completely on my side.
When the rest of the world seems against you, you know that your Bears will always stand shoulder to shoulder at your side; they will have your back, and no problem will be insurmountable.
You may have noticed the capital B hovering about my use of the word Bears. In this house the motto is definitely,
BEARS RULE, OK
In fact the dictation program on my iPad now automatically spells Bears with a capital letter because it has been corrected so often. It too has given up and acknowledged the true household gods.
Tomorrow is Poetry Sunday in Stratford and although I don’t yet know whether or not I shall be able to go I have turned my mind towards what I might offer as my contribution. Knowing that the organiser has his own collection of much loved Bears I had thought that I might include one or two hums by that greatest of ursine poet, Pooh Bear. Given how cold it is this morning the one beginning
The more it snows,
would seem to be particularly apt. I would take The Bears along but there is also going to be a mass singalong of the Owl and the Pussycat with real livestock and they might get it into their heads to scrutinise the beasts a little too closely. You just never know with Bears.
I am sure that whether you are prepared to admit it or not, there are a great many more Bear lovers out there and so from my Bears to your Bears